Happiness in Loneliness

It's been so long since I last write my blog. There has been so much happening for the past 4 years. I got a job and then quit after two years working. Then I slowly turning into a more boring person ever. I shut people down and pull myself out of almost every situation. I never show up anymore, I simply isolate myself. I quit my job because I thought it was the right thing to do, or at least it did feed my ego. I felt so unappreciated and disgusted by these chatty people I used to work with. And then back at the end of 2022 and start of 2023, I just experienced another heartbreak. In which I thought I would've never encountered such humiliation ever again after what happened in 2021. Funny. How stupid can I be. Two years later I might want to marry the person who did this to me. It's a lot to process. I'm so attached to people I'm comfortable with. But I have no idea what makes them feel important to me. While I'm typing this, I'm unemployed, sad, depressed...